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  1. #1

    Yennage Can't Cook #12 Frozen vs. Fresh (Showdown Edition)


    Well well well, here we are again, buoyed by the "success" of the Summer BBQ special I did the inevitable thing and became massively over-confident in my cooking abilities! It was this that caused me to foolishly challenge one of my friends from the BBQ special to a winner takes all showdown... Frozen food versus fresh!

    As around 60% of my calorific intake comes from frozen foods, representing my freezer habitating sustenance was a logical step; my opponent Carl on the other hand prefers to cook food fresh using real ingredients and not a single artificial preservative.

    Based on the outcome of this special YCC Showdown, I'm sure you'll agree, it's a miracle he's not starved to death yet.

    Frozen Food (by Yennage):

    Step 1 -- Assemble the finest ingredients your local supermarket's frozen food isle has to offer:

    From left we've got Takeaway Chicken Feasts (aka knock-off popcorn chicken), potato crispy alphabet letters (or something), 680g of "Southern Fried Chicken" and Gaymers cherry and apple flavour pear cider (bought for the hilarious name and the fact that it's an apple flavoured pear cider?!)

    Step 2 -- Throw your 680g of chicken into your baking tray like the proud simpleton you are!

    Protip: To my surprise the chicken wasn't just loose in the cardboard box, it was actually in a plastic package inside the box, be ready for that!

    Step 3 -- Douse your tasty chicken with some half-time cider:

    Protip: Cherry & apple flavour pear cider tastes dreadful on its own, don't add it to chicken... Please...

    Step 4 -- Quietly contemplate the massive array of words you can spell with your limitless bag of alphabet potato letter potential (although like all the Ms, Ns and As were ruined... what a ripoff!):

    Protip: Plug your terrible forum posts with subliminal messages, the users will never find them!

    Step 5 -- Toss in the whole box of popcorn chicken:

    Protip: These are loose in the cardboard box?! Don't upend it directly on top of your tasty totally not KFC chicken!

    Step 6 -- Turn your alphabeteos and needlessly plug a post the users are already reading once more:

    Protip: Alphabet letters are lame, like seriously how many words can you spell with such terrible letters? It's like the unluckiest scrabble hand ever...

    Step 7 -- Assemble the ingredients for the money shot!

    Protip: Over a kilogram of fat & salt laden food sits heavy on the stomach, I won't go into details but damn was that a tough YCC to get through.

    Anyway, in summary my meal was delicious, I can't speak for Carl because I felt upstaged enough already by his evidently better looking food to give him the chance to write something in the closing paragraph but I bet his meal lacked the sheer heart[burn] that my meal contained!

    Fresh... Food (Pretend this part was written by vivalacarl):

    Step 1 -- Assemble your fresh ingredients quickly before they rot and such:

    From left we've got fresh chicken, fresh peppers, BBQ flavour nuts (which mysteriously are never used because Carl lamed it out), a premade?! fajita kit?! and Cheesestrings (because they contain Calcium or something)

    Step 2 -- Cut up your fresh chicken:

    Protip: Yennage doesn't own a chopping board, be sure to comment, rate and subscribe so he can invest in one! [unbiased source]

    Step 3 -- Season your chicken:

    Protip: Decide to season your chicken well after it has started frying to ensure the maximum amount of grease spillage.

    Step 4 -- Proudly season your fresh chicken:

    Protip: Sacrifice your own meal to take [un]cool looking images of falling seasoning.

    Step 5 -- Season the chicken:

    Protip: Mix up the chicken hunter gatherer style for added kudos!

    Step 6 -- Add those bell peppers into the mix!

    Protip: If you don't have a chopping board to hand, simply use thin air instead!

    Step 7 -- Prepare the ingredients for fajita assembly:

    Protip: Use bowls which are far too small to ensure collateral kitchen surface stainage.

    Step 8 -- Being assembly:

    Protip: Use your fajita kit box as a plate to minimise mess and fuss!

    Step 9 -- Make up the fajitas:

    Protip: Fresh food is responsible for 100% of food related illness, join the fight against it NOW!

    Anyway, I'm eager to know which of the two meals you think looked better? As always, suggestions for future YCCs are always taken into account!
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  2. #2

    I think the second looks better...but I'm a sucker for chicken and vegetables.
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  3. #3

    I'm a sucker for fried chicken and alphabet letters! Fajitas are good too...I like them both =]

  4. #4
    limoman's Avatar Diamond Digger
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    Guys, get yourselves some BIGGER plates. You'll be eating out of buckets, next.

  5. #5
    Autom3's Avatar Golden Miner
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    Probably the first, I'm not a big fan of bell peppers.
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  6. #6
    Jeffharper's Avatar Golden Hatchet
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    Jul 2011
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    With a bit of salt and pepper I reckon the packaging would both look and taste better.
    OK, so what's the speed of dark?

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