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  1. #1

    Yennage Can't Cook #13 PROtein Nachos


    Hey guys! I don't know about the rest of you but as a regular PC gamer, I'm a huge fan of nachos, however, usually I'm restricted by laziness to just shovelling them directly from the bag into my mouth (and occasionally all over my keyboard), however, today I figured I'd go all out and have some fully fledged, properly professional protein packed nachos!

    Step 1 -- Assemble the freshest of ingredients (for a health conscious snack like nachos, using only the best natural produce is a must):

    From the left, there's Tesco mild salsa dip (I'm not a fan of spicy foods), Pre-grated extra mature cheddar cheese, smoked streaky bacon, all new Kettle Chip tortilla chips and finally, the awesomiser itself, Aromat.

    Step 2 -- Layer that tasty bacon into the pan:

    Protip: ALWAYS fry your bacon! I hear CommanderFluffy has microwaved bacon... That's nothing short of sacrilege!

    Step 3 -- Tend very carefully to your bacon:

    Protip: Keep an eye on the cardboard pizza box in the background! It's totally foreshadowing!

    Step 4 -- Pack your baking tray with cardboard to minimise washing up:

    Protip: If the cardboard comes from food packaging it's totally safe to use, after all, why else would they use it?

    Step 5 -- Toss your tortilla chips onto your newly prepared cardboard base:

    Protip: Use origami skills to ensure the cardboard stays flat to the tray!

    Step 6 -- Throw your cheese on top

    Protip: Pre-grated cheese doesn't taste the same as the regular stuff... It's got some weird coating to it to stop it sticking together that tastes bizarre

    Step 7 -- Throw your cardboard creation into the oven:

    Protip: Pre-research the ignition point of cardboard (450 degrees celsius) so you know it's not going to catch fire in the oven!

    Step 8 -- You thought bacon couldn't get any better? Think again:

    Protip: Aromat combines the flavour enhancing powers of BOTH salt and MSG, literally you can put this on any food and it'll taste oh so much better!

    Step 9 -- Remove your jury-rigged tray from the oven:

    Protip: Don't worry about any strange chemical smells that are emitted from the oven during cooking, it's just the essential inks infusing from the cardboard into the chips (I presume?)

    Step 10 -- Toss on the dip:

    Protip: Use the whole lot of the dip, I once tried Dorito dip on toast to use up some excess I had once... It was awful.

    Step 11 -- Plate up the bacon:

    Protip: Hone your spatula skills, in the tense moments in your kitchen, zen-like calm when wielding the spatula is essential.

    Step 12 -- Inspect how well your cardboard held up with pride:

    Protip: It seriously holds up a LOT better than what I was expecting at 220 degrees in the oven

    Step 13 -- Assemble your terrific snack and dig in:

    Protip: Get in close so it's impossible to see how precariously your food is stacked on the plate

    Well that was actually pretty nice, I was pretty impressed that the cardboard didn't even particularly singe (seriously, not even on the side that was flat to the baking tray), although I had to open literally all my doors and windows to get enough airflow so that I wasn't concerned about the smell of melting ink. The nachos themselves were also pretty tasty (kettle chip tortilla chips were great!) although I wish I'd spent the extra £1.50 on Doritos brand dip... The Tesco one had barely any onion in it... Also as a forewarning, the hnnngh constricted aorta feeling you get after eating this is pretty intense but easily "cured" with a nice energy drink! Woo!!!

    As always, meal suggestions are always a welcome break, especially as I'm now facing 4 days straight of margherita pizza!
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  2. #2

    Actually, you know whats really good on nachos? Franks Red Hot sauce. Try it, its amazing lol

  3. #3

    That looks awesome! Cardboard in the oven seems a little unsafe though :P

    I dont know if you have them at tesco but my favorite thing in the world to eat is those boxes of scalloped potatoes. You just pretty much add water and milk and cook it. Its the simplest thing, and it looks like a slimy mess but I LOVE IT! Its just potatoes with a weird powder though, so im not sure on it's nutritional value :P
    Last edited by RefinedCode; 02-18-2013 at 02:27 AM.

  4. #4
    Autom3's Avatar Golden Miner
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    another fine piece of food-art here yen! I really enjoy reading these keep up the good... no great work! also, yen for master chef! anyone with me? :P

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