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  1. #1

    Yennage Can't Cook #14 "Imported Food" Review

    Hey! I can't believe it's been over a year since I last did this! The combination of a lack of ideas and the fact that I find ready meals much easier to prepare (and far more edible) means that I've been super lazy on this for months now...

    However, I took a long weekend trip to Oslo and it's spurned me into action! I'd originally intended to bring back a bunch of local stuff from one of the grocery stores to prepare a relevant meal but food in Norway is crazy expensive and I didn't have much room in my luggage, so instead I decided to take a trip to my local grocery store to pick up some imported American delights!

    As the prospect of piling these all into the oats mix didn't sound too appealing, I decided to sample these delights individually instead:

    The Roster:

    From the left we've got, Boyland's Black Cherry "That's all the bottle says", Cream of Wheat, boring milk, Mikado, Magner's (quickly consumed and never seen or heard from again), Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme (American spelling or?) and Pop Rocks Magic Popping Candy! Truly a balanced meal!

    Mikado (known as Pocky in their native Japan):
    I've gotten these out of the way first as I'm actually already a huge fan of them and have tried them before so already know of their deliciousness. They're basically biscuit sticks coated in chocolate and the plan is to either play a boring game of "pick up sticks" or cast them off dramatically during your anime style magical transformation sequence before eating them. Unfortunately, in the real world sharing is far less appealing than eating all of them yourself.

    Oishii desu!


    Mikasa Approved!

    Guaranteed to fuel you in your fight to save humanity!

    Hershey's Cookies n Creme:
    As a loyal Cadbury consuming Brit I've never actually eaten any of Hershey's proper chocolate bars before (although they do sell their peanut butter cups here, which are actually really good) so this is going to be a new experience. The packaging proudly boasts that they've been in business since 1894 and based on their packaging design I don't think they've changed the logo since. Also, couldn't they have found a better looking piece of the chocolate for the picture? The one they've picked looks all dull and lifeless... Not looking forward to this much.

    I wasn't relishing this at all and after touching it for a second and feeling my hand immediately become sticky I wasn't really relishing eating it. In actuality, it tasted okay, the chocolate was a little sickly and I wouldn't want to eat a lot but it wasn't as abysmal as I'd feared. The cookie bits inside also kinda saved the day.


    What kind of single serve chocolate bar can't be eaten without breaking it into pieces? I mean who on earth could fit the colossal width of that bar into their mouth without breaking it?!

    Pop Rocks Magic:
    My goodness that dude on the packaging... The popping seems so intense that the Pop Rocks have actually exploded back out of his mouth and the poor guy seems to have been left in a bit of a daze by the whole ordeal. Snapping back to reality, I've actually had similar popping confectionery before and it was always kind of disappointing compared to the level of head busting, popping hype promised by the packet. Hoping that the US formula will pack more of a punch.

    As soon as I put them in my mouth I remembered why I don't like crackling candy... They just fizz away causing a mild pinching pain on your tongue and making a lame crackly noise, they took seemingly forever to dissolve and were thoroughly unpleasant.


    That kid on the packet has absolutely gained superpowers of some sort.

    Boylan Black Cherry:
    I'm actually not sure what kind of drink this is supposed to be? It was next to a root beer made by the same company but this looks more like a fruity drink. I'd also never actually heard of Boylan before at all so I don't know how much of a household name they are in the US but at least they promise all natural ingredients! Honestly not sure how this one's going to taste.

    This one was a bit of a surprise, I was expecting a still, fruity soft drink but it actually had a weird slightly carbonated situation going on... In terms of taste, it wasn't bad or anything but I have big doubts about the "All Natural" text on the logo, the cherry flavour tasted incredibly artificial and it had a weird aftertaste (which may have been affected by the crackly pops so I'll forgive it). To conclude, not at all what I was expecting, but not bad either.

    The lack of a brand name for this product really confused me, the label just has random keywords on it like they're shooting for old school SEO. Imagine if Coke did the same? "Vegetable Extract! Caramel! Black in Colour Beverage! Contains Caffeine!"

    Cream of Wheat:
    This I bought primarily because I found the name "Cream of Wheat" hilarious, I also loved how stoked the dude on the top of the box looked about presenting you with a bowl of their delicious product, not to mention all the Calcium, Iron and 6 essential vitamins?!?! In fact the essential part worried me a bit as the box never actually states which specific vitamins you get, this got me wondering whether or not they intentionally witheld that information so the only way to be sure was by eating their hot cereal. After skipping past the lame testimonials from pregnant ladies on the back of the box I came to the assumption that this would be similar to an oatmeal or something, not really relishing the taste.

    Full disclosure: I actually put off eating this so long that my milk I'd bought to make it with went off, then I put if off even longer because the thought of eating it when made with water filled me with even more sadness. Eventually I came to the conclusion that making it with alcohol was the only way, so with this being largely US focused I elected to use Budweiser.


    Had to play fast and loose with the measurements so we're going for mug sizes instead of cups.

    Pre-microwaved, doesn't look like a very hearty breakfast...

    Post microwaving... Looks pretty grim even after repeated stirring...
    Last edited by Yennage; 05-04-2014 at 10:32 PM.
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  2. #2
    dph's Avatar Minecraft Addicts Operator
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    Feb 2011
    South East England
    I have been looking forward to another one of theses and you have not disappointed!
    I run a shop. Buy stuff!

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  3. #3
    It's finally here!!! :O
    How'd that Budweiser cereal taste? :P
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  4. #4
    That mikasa statue is AWESOME!

  5. #5
    Do give the cream of wheat a proper try, I was partially raised on that stuff, along with Red river cereal and oats porridge...
    Cream of Wheat is not that easy to make well, takes a few tries to get the consistency "creamy"

  6. #6
    lukevillani's Avatar Banned
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    Sep 2013
    New York
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    Omg boyland, my favorite soda!

  7. #7
    Heh thanks guys, glad to find someone who recognises Boyland as a brand luke, I was beginning to worry it wasn't a genuine US product. I've got another 7 packets (maybe more) of that cream of wheat left too, I'll have to try it properly next time I've got some milk in!

    Quote Originally Posted by CheezyMarsBar14 View Post
    It's finally here!!! :O
    How'd that Budweiser cereal taste? :P
    Not nearly as horrific as I thought it would be actually Cheezy, the main problem was the truly awful texture!

    Also had no idea you watched AoT too astraea! That's awesome!
    Don't forget to vote for our server!

    What a beautiful world this will be, what a glorious time to be free!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Yennage View Post
    Also had no idea you watched AoT too astraea! That's awesome!
    Show is awesome
    Can't wait for season 2

    Also great to see your *cough* cooking skills returning

  9. #9


    -Residential Builder

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Yennage View Post
    What kind of single serve chocolate bar can't be eaten without breaking it into pieces? I mean who on earth could fit the colossal width of that bar into their mouth without breaking it?!
    This guy can. ^.^


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